Lotta's place

when you're an "older" woman

2012-01-27T15:53:00.000-08:00

Someone asks me in the mall, yells at me from their little booth, "What's under your eyes?". How am I supposed to respond, "Bags, do you have anything for that?"?

I'm not going to make it that easy for you. So I say, "Nothing, usually." That doesn't throw him off: "Can I give you a sample?", is how he responds. Sample for what? The nothingness? Or the bags that we don't dare mention?

Kinda makes it harder to sell the crap, not mentioning what it's supposed to cure. Right?

get it?

2012-01-26T18:27:00.001-08:00

Speaking of Newt, it took me a few years but then it dawned on me: His name is Knut, and he is patriotically using American spelling.

my boyfriend, on the other hand, is only tired of newt, yelling "shut up newt" at the screen

2012-01-26T18:25:00.000-08:00

I'm mighty tired of my sinuses. Whenever the weather changes, they give me hell. They also give me hell whenever there is pollen around, especially tree pollen. Today I've used all home remedies I know, and three kinds of over the counter medications. The home remedies? Flushed the nose with salt water, ate spicy food, went for a walk, took a shower and let the water drum on my forehead. Also avoided stress.

they're cool, so whatever

2012-01-24T00:28:00.000-08:00

I just ordered a pair of on sale, yet still over-priced, updated and hipified Swedish clogs. According to the blurb they're based on a 1970s clog "found in a barn in southern Sweden."

There was a time when I refused to buy clothing that I had owned once before - basically anything 70s or 80s retro. Not only have I broken that promise to myself, now I also indulge in fake backstories and chose to believe that the barn in the above sentence was old and quaint, instead of the more realistic image of a boxy outlet where the clogs were sharing shelf space with equally unsellable take 3 pay for 2 white y-fronts.

yeah, good for you, you light skinned mestiza

2012-01-24T00:14:00.000-08:00

During a class discussion today one of my students told the story about how at some point someone had asked her about her ethnicity, and upon hearing the she was Mexican, the person had given her a little pat on the back, and said, "You're kind of light for being Mexican, good for you!".

rest in peace, annaa

2012-01-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I learned that someone had died. I received an email with a link to a news story about a woman being found dead in the basement of an apartment building (the story is in Swedish, sorry if you don't read Swedish). The email told me that the woman in the story was someone I knew.

The woman, Annaa Mattsson, was a writer, and her stories have been a part of my life on and off for a long time. When I was in high school she was a reporter at the local paper where I lived. For the past few years I've read her blog, which she updated almost daily.

Many of her readers have said the same thing after learning about her death: That even though they never met in real life, her voice had become an important part of their lives. And now, after she has died, there is silence and emptiness in a way that they had not anticipated.

Someone who does a lot of online teaching once told me that there is a certain intimacy to online interactions. That's true. I think what the internet does sometimes is let us listen in to other people's thoughts. That is an amazing thing when you find someone whose thoughts are as refreshing as Annaa's.

something happened

2012-01-22T11:40:00.000-08:00

I may start up this sadly neglected blog again. Let me collect my thoughts...

you feel me, siri?

2011-10-23T11:45:00.000-07:00

It turns out that Siri, the imaginary personal assistant built into the new version of Apple's Iphone, the Iphone 4S, only really understands unaccented English. My Taiwanese immigrant friend tried her luck Friday night, and ended up speaking loudly, and slowly. When I tried out the speak-and-she'll-type-your-email-function I spoke the same way. Why? Because I know voice recognition software usually doesn't get my slight European accent.

This reminds me of a comment an African American student made in class once. We were talking about auto-correct functions on smart devices, and she said that when she and her friends see the suggestions for corrections made by their phones they think "I would never say that". I asked her what she meant, and she said "the phones make us text white". Meaning that their social dialect is turned into standard English by the auto correct function.

Does this matter? I think it does. What happens is that software that is marketed as decreasing the distance between human thought and technological representation is creating not less but more distance for some people. It can't be good for the companies, because it of course reinforces the alienation experienced by underrepresented groups.

I don't know a lot of black slang, but in a small experiment I just asked Siri one question that I do know: "You feel me, Siri?". I asked her three times. She responded, "I don't really like these arbitrary categories", "OK", and "If you insist".

"You feel me?" is a tag-question, much like "You know?" that establishes rapport between speakers. Appropriate answers are "Uh-hu", "Yeah", or anything else that shows that you understand, agree, and want to hear more. A metallic "Go ahead!" from Siri would have been fine.

president obama dedicates the martin luther king jr. memorial in washington dc today

2011-10-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

I was in Atlanta last weekend for the opening of this show. It was the first time I had had a total of ten of my photos in an exhibit, and it was a wonderful experience to see them on the walls of a beautiful space. I also got to meet a few other photographers, and I came away really inspired and grateful for the connections that made all of that possible.

Then I stayed on in Atlanta for a couple of more days. I thought it would be silly to travel so far and then just go back home right away.

On Saturday I first spent a frustrating hour trying to find parking downtown. I gave up, and drove over to the Martin Luther King Jr. Center. It's an area where within two blocks you'll find a museum, Dr. King's and his wife's graves, his birth home, and Ebenezer Baptist Church, where Dr. King, his father, and maternal grandfather all preached. I had wanted to spend time there to photograph, and see the sites.

You can only visit Dr. King's birth home as part of a tour. And since US National Park Service run the place, everything is free, and tours are given by park rangers, uniforms and hats and all. Only 15 people are allowed in each tour. I had to come back on Sunday for an open spot.

Through his maternal grandfather Dr. King was born into a wealthy family, and a family that raised children with a lot of foresight. Our ranger told the group that every afternoon little Martin and his two younger siblings would learn a bible verse in addition to doing their homework. Then they dressed "as if they were going to church", and went downstairs to a family dinner that was shared with 20 or 30 poor students and others from the neighborhood.

During dinner the children would take turns standing up, recite their bible verse of the day, tell the group about their day at school, and - and this is what really struck me - lastly they would speak about what oppression meant to them, what it looked like from their point of view. Every day. Instead of turning away, not wanting to "dwell on injustice" as people sometimes put it, the children were encouraged to see what was happening to them with open eyes. The ranger who gave the tour stressed how this daily practice helped shape Dr. King into the man he became.

I'm floored by the bravery and honesty of that daily ritual. You have to see what is going on before you can do something about it. And you have to be completely honest about what is really going on, or else you will start believing what others are telling you about the world instead of your own eyes.

Often the Civil Rights era is described as an emotional time. Rosa Parks remained seated on that bus because she "had had enough". Dr. King was "angry". I don't think so. I think that's white society's rhetoric. In reality, there was a lot of analysis, planning, and organizing that led up to what happened in the 1960s. And parents infusing habits in children in the 1930s, that bore fruit in the 1960s.

hello starbucks

2011-10-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

I had a bad day yesterday. Not overly bad, or completely bad, but there was a lot of traffic and that made me late, I had forgotten to take my allergy pills so my eyes itched, I picked the vegetarian sushi by mistake at the counter, and when I opened a can in the car the content overflowed and made a mess.

So I went to Starbucks for a well needed dose of caffein. I told the woman behind the counter that I wanted the largest regular coffee (I had a long afternoon, and evening, in front of me). She put her nose in the air and repeated "A large regular coffee?, with a HUGE question mark at the end. I repeated, "Yeah, the largest size, regular drip coffee, please." Now she got it.

What I should have said, and what she tried to bully me into saying, was "A venti drip, please", because that's Starbucks speak for large coffees.

Annika Norlin, who has two musical projects, 'Säkert!' where she sings in Swedish, and 'Hello Saferide' where she sings in English, has just taken it upon herself to translate her Swedish lyrics into English. She has a large international following, and she's gotten a lot of emails from fans who want to know what the words mean.

Norlin decided to do literal translations, so the English lyrics on her new album 'In English' are not idiomatic. The words are English, but the flavor is Swedish, and in interviews she has spoken of it as "a third language". She says it was an experiment, and that the end result could be flat and boring, or kind of charming.

Annika Norlin's "third language"? Charming, if you ask me. Starbucks' "third language"? Ridiculous. Dumb. Dumbe.

excitement!

2011-09-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm one of ten photographers showing photos at the Matre Gallery in Atlanta, Georgia, Oct. 7-31, 2011. The exhibit is focused on iphone photography, and all photographers are also part of The Art of Iphoneography, written by Stephanie C. Roberts. The book is available in English in the US and the UK, and it's been translated into German, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and Dutch. A Finnish translation is coming out in May of next year.

why I don't like 'the help'

2011-08-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

I was expecting to not like The Help (the movie about African American domestic workers in 1960s Mississippi) very much, but I liked it a little bit better than that. I came away with mixed feelings. As any review of the movie will tell you, Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer, who play the two main characters, are exceptional. Between them they carry the movie. The rest of the cast is pretty two-dimensional, with the exception of Allison Janney, who portrays a cancer stricken woman in her 50s, who admits to not having been a very courageous white person in 1950s and 1960s Mississippi.

To me that was refreshing to hear. Most people who live through difficult times are not courageous. I think we all like to think that had we been Germans during Hitler's time, things would have turned out differently because we would have stood up for our Jewish neighbors, and the Nazis wouldn't have been able to do what they did. We like to think that had we been white in the segregated South the civil rights movement would have had an easier time, because we would have stood up for the Blacks.

The truth is that we, most people, would have done exactly what most people always do: Nothing. We wouldn't have been brave, we wouldn't have wanted to risk our jobs, or our family's safety. We would have been more concerned with appearances than with politics.

What I dislike about movies like The Help is that they make it look easy. As white Americans we can watch that movie and imagine ourselves being the young writer, the young woman who takes it upon herself to tell the stories of the Black domestic workers. We don't imagine ourselves where most of us would have been: playing bridge in the front room, wearing pearls, heels, and fake smiles, while our Black maids raise our children for us.

If you don't agree with me, if you think that you are an exception, and that you would have been brave in the 1960s, let me ask you this: Who are you standing up for now? How do you show bravery today?

why jose didn't want to go through arizona

2011-07-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

I knew Jose Arreola for four years as a student at Santa Clara University. Here is a two-minute version of his story:

"I really, really didn't want to go through Arizona."

The website is called "My Life Is True" and the goal is to tell stories that otherwise would go unheard.

bridesmaids

2011-06-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

I didn't like Bridesmaids, the movie. I realize I might be the odd woman out here, so I'll collect my thoughts and get back to everyone. But let me just say that multi facetted characters those women were not.

this is really funny

2011-06-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

From Dixon: what photographers do to entertain themselves in an airport overnight.

art, exercise, and cancer

2011-04-16T14:47:00.000-07:00

I saw my oncologist last week, and we were talking about exercise and weight. Cancer survivors need to exercise regularly.

Like most people I have a hard time fitting everything I want to do into the limited number of hours I have free everyday. I told my doctor I spend a lot of time on photography, and that it eats into my exercise time. She said it's great that I do photography: "It's good for you to be doing something that you really enjoy".

So there I was, with my cancer doctor. Who told me that to stay healthy, I should exercise. And do art.

Ironic, isn't it, that art, and physical education, are the two areas that public schools cut first when they need to cut somewhere.

If you want to create lifelong healthy habits, and healthy people, you need to let the kids learn how to enjoy art, and physical exercise. It won't matter if they know how to do math if they're dead.

the IKEA embarrassment

2011-04-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to Dan reading a story from The Los Angeles Times out aloud to me. It turns out that the mothership of Swedishness, IKEA, is in some trouble at its first US factory in Danville, Va. Workers are complaining of eliminated raises, a frenzied pace, and mandatory overtime. There are complaints about racial discrimination, and high turnover of workers. Here is a snippet from the story:

Some of the Virginia plant's 335 workers are trying to form a union. The International Assn. of Machinists and Aerospace Workers said a majority of eligible employees had signed cards expressing interest.

In response, the factory — part of Ikea's manufacturing subsidiary, Swedwood — hired the law firm Jackson Lewis, which has made its reputation keeping unions out of companies. Workers said Swedwood officials required employees to attend meetings at which management discouraged union membership.

IKEA has been known for relying on a certain "Swedishness" in employee benefits, offering generous packages compared to other companies in the US. The situation at the Virginia factory is embarrassing. Here is more:

Laborers in Swedwood plants in Sweden produce bookcases and tables similar to those manufactured in Danville. The big difference is that the Europeans enjoy a minimum wage of about $19 an hour and a government-mandated five weeks of paid vacation. Full-time employees in Danville start at $8 an hour with 12 vacation days — eight of them on dates determined by the company.

What's more, as many as one-third of the workers at the Danville plant have been drawn from local temporary-staffing agencies. These workers receive even lower wages and no benefits, employees said.

Believe that? Twelve days of vacation a year, eight of them on days the company chooses for you?

I go to IKEA regularly, because it is my only slice of home away from home. The yellow and blue signs, and the familiar names of the products, make me feel good. I know the employees in the stores have decent contracts. I wish the same was true for those making the furniture.

is this image funny to you?

2011-04-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

I've been involved in a discussion around this image the last couple of days. Someone posted it on her blog, to illustrate a blog post aimed at explaining to Swedish people how you go about getting your driver's license in California. She found the image funny, and added it to her informational post as a light hearted ending. She said "This is not what a California license looks like, but, who knows, maybe soon it will, given all the illegal immigrants here".

When I saw it, I was shocked. To me the image is deeply racist, and I think posting it without comment is to perpetuate prejudice and stereotypes. I wrote a comment to the writer because I didn't want Swedish people reading the blog to think that this kind of "humor" is OK.

The writer of the blog was upset by my comment. She thought I had attacked her. Other readers (Swedish immigrants in the US, or Swedes living in Sweden), all, except for one, thought I was the bad guy. They said I was overly sensitive, and that you have to be able to joke about things. They said you can't be politically correct all the time. They said that since the writer is not racist, she didn't mean any harm.

The writer herself said it was unfortunate the image was misinterpreted, and that you can't please everybody. She took the image off her blog. Other readers continued to comment, urging her to put the image back up, repeating that she hadn't done anything wrong, and that she had been unfairly attacked.

I don't think saying "everyone interprets differently" is a good excuse. There isn't anything funny about the image. All it does is pile old stereotypes on top of each other: The Mexican immigrant is portrayed as short, fat, over sexualized, he can't write his name, doesn't know his date of birth, is entitled to services, wears a sombrero, and wears ammunition across his chest like a member of a guerilla. His status will never change, and he is referred to by the words 'illegal', and 'alien'.

The woman who posted this image lives in Siskiyou County in Northern California. Siskiyou County is 80% white. That's extreme, even on a national level. Here is a comparison:

Percentage of white people
Siskiyou County 80
Santa Clara County 37 (this is where I live, in the San Francisco Bay Area)
California 42
US 65

source: US Census Bureau

It's possible that anyone living in a homogenous area actually does not know about the tension between different ethnicities in the US. It's also possible that people with no experience of their own take stereotypes present in news and other media stories for true. Because I am originally Swedish I have been especially saddened by what I perceive as ignorance among Swedes, and Swedish immigrants in the US. Here are a few facts that I think most of them don't know:

1. California's economy, such as it is, depends on the work of undocumented workers. Conservative writer Victor Davis Hansen has said something along the lines of "The difference between Michigan and California is that in Michigan people mow their own lawns." He is referring to the fact that middle class Californians in vast numbers employ undocumented workers to take care of their children, their yards, their pools, and their cleaning. And everyone in the state, and outside of it, enjoy cheap produce picked by underpaid farmworkers.

2. California became a state in 1850, after the Mexican-American war. Texas, to take another example, became a state in 1845. In both states there are people, families, who have lived there since before the land became part of the US. Being white does not grant you the right to determine or imply who belongs, and not. The face on the driver's license is that of an "illegal alien", but it looks just as much as the face of someone whose family may have been American citizens for six or seven generations.

3. President Reagan granted amnesty to undocumented workers in 1986. Over the past ten years when I have been teaching in California many of my students have been the children of parents who acquired residency through Reagan's amnesty.

4. The private university where I teach gives full scholarships to undocumented students, if they quality. (The same standards apply to them as to other applicants, obviously.)

5. Undocumented students, who have been brought to the US as children, are not entitled to loans, or any type of financial aid. If they aren't awarded scholarships to private universities they are on their own. Undocumented students can attend California State Universities and pay in-state tuition, but they have to pay all of it out of their own pockets. They work full-time, and save as much as they can to pay for school. They yearly costs for four-year California public universities range between $15 000 and $30 000.

6. When I see the image of the 'illegal immigrant' I see the face of some of my students, or the faces of some of my students' parents. I see hardworking immigrants, who do the best that they can for their children and their families. I see people who struggle against prejudice. I see people who work harder than I ever have in my life.

photography non-profit

2011-03-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting project. Give them some money, and help kids learn about photography.

matted orange

2011-03-23T12:40:00.001-07:00

shine

2011-03-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

pigmented tulip

2011-03-23T11:06:00.001-07:00

more photography news

2011-03-19T16:49:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to have an image in the upcoming exhibit PIXELS: The Art of Iphone Photography, at the Orange County Center For Contemporary Art, March 31-April 30, 2011. All images in the show can be seen following this link. The show is put together by the folks behind the site Pixels - The Art of the Iphone.

it's coming, on april 4!

2011-03-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to finally being able to tell you that I'm one of the contributors to Stephanie Roberts' new book The Art of Iphoneography: A Guide to Mobile Creativity. The book is a practical guide to using your mobile phone to make art, and it will be available in the US through Barnes&Noble, Amazon, and Urban Outfitters. The book will be published simultaneously in the United Kingdom. The companion website, with previews and other good stuff, is here.

impersonal exchanges, and using machines as shields

2011-03-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

I was at Trader Joe's the other day, and when it became my turn the check-out guy said "hi". I said "hi" back, and then it was silent. After some seconds of this I started wondering why he didn't ask me how I was doing, or how my day was going, or any other of the generic impersonal questions check-out people ask. After a while it was obvious he wasn't going to talk to me at all. "OK", I thought, "I'll ask him how he's doing for a change."

So I did. And he didn't say that he was "good" like 99% of people will. Instead he told me that he was "pretty frustrated, tell you the truth." He said he didn't want to get into it too much, but that he was frustrated with how customers were treating him. He said they didn't respond to his greetings, look at him, or address him at all.

So we had a little conversation about that, and he bagged my stuff, and we said "bye". It was a pleasant enough exchange. As I was leaving, I looked over my shoulder to see what the person next in line would do. Would she look at him?

No, she wouldn't. She was on her phone, in the middle of a conversation. She didn't talk to the guy, didn't look at him, only talked on her phone and fiddled with her credit card, and the machine.

It made me sad.

infrared film

2011-03-05T13:33:00.000-08:00

I've taken darkroom photography classes lately, and jumped from iphoneography to something really old fashioned: using infrared film. It's fun, and very tricky. I like the dreamy effect a lot. More here: this is a link to a flickr set.

the i.phonography book

2011-03-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

I'm very happy to have one image in this book by Attilio Lauria. It's a collection of iphone photography from a contest and an exhibit held in Paola, Italy, in the fall of 2010. The book is published through blurb.com, and it is available for purchase online. In addition to 100 images, the book also contains essays in which the curators discuss iphoneography from a theoretical point of view. The book is a great introduction to an emerging art form.

foreigners

2011-02-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

Someone I'm a little bit acquainted with online used the word 'foreigners' about people of color in California recently. The only thing she knew about them was that they were not white.

I'm not a very diplomatic person, and I was probably not too careful when I pointed out to her that her word choice could be perceived as hostile. Her friends told her that she hadn't done anything wrong.

I think it's amazing. Dan, my partner, is not white. But he is the second generation in his family to be born in California. Foreigner in the US? Not so much. Think about it. Should he be expected to travel to Mexico and demand a Mexican passport? He hasn't spent any time in the country.

In Mexico he'd be a foreigner. Where we live, he is in the majority: 70 percent are not white in Santa Clara County.

what makes me nervous

2011-02-13T18:15:00.000-08:00

What makes me nervous is when little old women out walking big dogs tense up when they meet another dog on the trail. They get scared and throw all of their non-existant weight on that leash. I sprint past them as fast as I can.

pet peeve (and I do it myself)

2011-02-02T12:23:00.000-08:00

When journalists, commentators, pundits, and teachers use the expressions "that being said", or "having said that" (followed by that swift breath in) it's just a sneaky way of not letting anyone else speak.

silvery tulips

2011-01-31T20:54:00.001-08:00

black and white tulips: the obsession continues

2011-01-24T20:01:00.001-08:00

tulips

2011-01-23T19:40:00.001-08:00

tulip

2011-01-23T19:26:00.001-08:00

"no one deserves to be treated like a black man"

2011-01-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

Click here to see a piece of genius from The Onion.

cowgirl politicians

2011-01-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

I remember reading a long time ago the theory that the Nordic countries have their farming history to thank for their gender equality. On a farm everyone has to work. That means men and women, husbands and wives, working alongside each other. And men learn fast what women can do, and to respect them.

I was reminded of this when I read a story about 'cowgirl politicians' in the New York Times Magazine today. It's a comparison between Sarah Palin and Gabrielle Giffords, and it's interesting.

yes, standing in line with seniors means getting trampled

2011-01-22T23:05:00.000-08:00

Dan and I went to see Mike Leigh's new movie Another Year. And we lowered the average age of the audience by 15 years.

I liked the movie a lot (as did New York Times' reviewer), and Dan only fell asleep once. He started snoring, not very loudly, but audibly. I woke him up.

When we got back home he made me watch this:

the blue metal doors

2011-01-17T22:26:00.001-08:00

it's been raining lately (II)

2011-01-17T22:22:00.001-08:00

it's been raining lately (I)

2011-01-17T22:20:00.001-08:00

this is my country

2011-01-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

When I became an American citizen in September Barbara, Kathy, and Steve gave me three mix CDs. It's one of the nicest gifts I have ever received. The theme was, obviously, the music of my New Country, and this song was one of them. I think it fitting for celebrating MLK Day too. Happy Birthday, Dr. King.

Here is the Curtis Mayfield version, with a slideshow someone made:

walk a mile in his shoes

2011-01-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

Top question asked of a UPS guy: "You have anything for me?"
Top question a UPS guy can't answer: "You have anything for me?"

Source: Mike, the UPS guy.

PS. Try telling him your address first.

the real karl-oskar

2011-01-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

Where Vilhelm Moberg got his inspiration for the famous descriptions of Swedish immigrants to Minnesota in the 1860s.

stutter, depression, and helena bonham carter as the queen mum

2011-01-02T23:07:00.000-08:00

The King's Speech is a really good movie. 96 percent on the Tomatometer! I've forgiven Colin Firth for Love Actually. (Maybe I'm the only one hating that movie, but I hate it a lot to make up for it.)

let the mystery be

2011-01-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

Dan and I went to see True Grit the other day. It's a great movie, and I'll come back to it later. The movie ends with Iris DeMent singing an old hymn, 'Leaning On the Everlasting Arm'. I didn't find a youtube version that I liked (click here for a version I didn't like), but I found this instead: Let The Mystery Be (link for lyrics):

leaning into the curve

2010-12-30T00:22:00.001-08:00

wet winter road, and ivy

2010-12-29T13:28:00.001-08:00

racing her little brother (and winning)

2010-12-29T13:25:00.001-08:00

fake daguerreotype*

2010-12-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

*Daguerreotype: Early photographic process. Fake: I made it with an iphone app.

someone's coming

2010-12-29T12:25:00.001-08:00

mid-winter palm tree

2010-12-29T12:21:00.000-08:00

ho ho ho (2)

2010-12-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

Update on the Christmas food prep: Winner so far is the red wine, heavy cream, and roasting pan sauce.

so why again are we doing the good deeds?

2010-12-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

This is an interesting read: Ricky Gervais on god, science, atheism, and being a good person. For a continued conversation the paper added this section: Ricky taking questions from readers.

ho ho ho

2010-12-22T17:04:00.000-08:00

Ups and downs in the Swedish-American Christmas food prep:

Turkey: Definite up. Roasting breast side down for 45 minutes, then breast side up until it's done. Basting with butter and honey and an improvised spices combo. Stuffed with oranges.

Snickerdoodles: Definite up. Extremely tasty. Heavy on the butter. Yum yum yum.

Saffron bread: So-so. I'm not a fan of dry yeast, and I haven't been able to find any fresh yeast this year.

Gingersnaps: The dough is the best part. Absolute up for the dough. Cookies baked unevenly. So-so.

Sill: Best of Abba, and IKEA.

Chocolate: Truckloads.

Deconstructed Christmas tree: Definitely up. Pictures to follow.

shame on you

2010-12-18T12:50:00.000-08:00

One thing Christians learn in December is that we should open our doors to those who need shelter. I remember the lesson from a book read to my class in grade school. The title of the book was 'Mary's Donkey', and the story was told from the perspective of the donkey carrying Mary from Nazareth to Bethlehem. Each night the little group would look for shelter, and each night they would be turned away. Our teacher would read a section every day all through December, and the lesson for us kids was clear: Do better. Open your doors. Let people in.

Mexican American immigrants in California celebrate Las Posadas in December. Las Posadas is an enactment, over several days, of Mary's and Joseph's journey from house to house. They are repeatedly turned away, until finally they are let in at a house at the end of each day's procession. At that house there is a party with food, music, and candy for the kids.

The DREAM Act was a bill that would have provided a chance for children of undocumented immigrants to earn citizenship in the United States. The bill proposed that if you were brought to the US as a child, and if you completed at least two years of higher education or military service, you would earn the right to apply for a green card, and ultimately citizenship.

The DREAM Act was voted down by the Senate today.

It's a week before Christmas, in a country where no politician dares say they don't believe in God. Christians vote against core Christian values, in the middle of the holiest of seasons. And think nothing of it.

coming soon

2010-11-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

The poor neglected blog! I've spent so much time teaching and doing photography this fall that I haven't had time to write. Things will start lightning up, though, soon.

friends

2010-11-12T22:34:00.001-08:00

the skater

2010-11-12T22:29:00.001-08:00

it's been a little while, but on nov. 2 I voted for the first time

2010-11-12T22:28:00.001-08:00

the sunrise, sausalito, calif.

2010-11-12T22:15:00.001-08:00

photographing the sunrise, sausalito, calif.

2010-11-12T22:14:00.000-08:00

shades of blue

2010-10-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

I just realized that kornblått= blåklintsblått eftersom cornflower= blåklint. Maybe everyone else already had this figured out.

(I'm sorry that this only makes sense if you are a bilingual Swedish person.)

the rains are starting

2010-10-23T21:28:00.001-07:00

it looks abstract, but it's really part of a building

2010-10-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

angles

2010-10-19T19:11:00.001-07:00

she ran into a friend

2010-10-19T19:10:00.001-07:00

late afternoon sun

2010-10-19T19:09:00.001-07:00

on their way to class

2010-10-19T19:07:00.001-07:00

october is breast cancer awareness month

2010-10-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

This is part of an email I just got from a former student:

I went into Safeway while they were trying to raise $100 for breast cancer awareness in 15 minutes. When I was about to checkout I asked what they were at and the lady said that they had $78 left. I thought of my dear Comm professor and the thousands of other powerful women who have been affected and the thousands of other women who will be affected. My total went rom $3.47 to $81.47 and I quietly walked out of the store.

I think even Dan had a tear in his eye just now.

sepia hills

2010-10-05T21:11:00.001-07:00

one serious flower girl

2010-10-05T20:25:00.001-07:00

getting married, last saturday

2010-10-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

red sunflower

2010-10-04T21:18:00.001-07:00

de anza college

2010-10-04T21:17:00.001-07:00

sun-flower

2010-09-28T21:41:00.001-07:00

where learning happens

2010-09-28T21:39:00.001-07:00

to my congressman

2010-09-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

I recently became a naturalized American citizen. I have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1995, and I have held a green card since the year 2000. I am originally Swedish.

As required, I attended a swearing-in ceremony. People standing around me, in line, and during the ceremony, were friendly, helpful, and excited. There was chatting between strangers, and photos were being taken by family members. Overall is was a great experience.

However, there was one thing going on that concerned me, and that I want to put to your attention.

As we were lining up to enter the building, over the friendly chatter you could hear the loud unfriendly voice of one of the officers working at the event. He would walk the line checking documents, and whoever hadn’t signed the letter each person was supposed to bring was asked to do so.

When signing this particular letter the applicant is asked to state the date and city of the signature. This lead the official to quiz the applicants who hadn’t yet signed the document on what city we were in. Some of the people in line were confused, and answered a neighboring city. To me this is an easy mistake to make if you are not from the area. Or, it’s an easy mistake to make if you get intimidated by having officials talk to you in a loud and unfriendly voice, while wearing dark glasses.

If the applicants were confused, the officer would continue asking them questions about the date, and their name, in the same loud and unfriendly voice. This went on for quite some time. When someone would get an answer right, he would yell condescendingly, “There you go!”.

When my section reached the front of the line, there were 4 or 5 shorter lines to choose from, each leading to a door. Some people were hesitant, wondering if they were supposed to stand in a certain line. I was wondering the same thing. The same loud unfriendly voice told us that, “This is not hard, pick a line! Just like at the super market, pick the shortest one!”

At that point I turned around to get a closer look at him. I found his behavior rude, and unnecessary. As I turned around, the people standing directly behind me looked at me and quietly shock their heads.

As I stated earlier, I am originally Swedish. I am used to being one of the few white people present at any event or occasion relating to immigration. The swearing-in ceremony was no exception. There were a handful of Northern European faces in the crowd, but overwhelmingly the crowd was made up of people of color.

The man who consistently used a loud and unfriendly voice to speak to the crowd, and to members of the crowd, was one of the few other white faces I saw that afternoon. As a white person, and now as a white American, my heart sank when I heard and saw him in action. With his presence, and his use of language, he was intimidating people of color who wanted nothing but to please, and do things right. He was stressfully organizing a crowd that was happy, friendly, and accommodating. He created stress, where there was none.

Maybe this officer needs some support. Maybe organizing 400+ people takes more staff than the few officers I saw working the lines.

Or, maybe the officer needs to work on his sensitivity towards other people. Maybe he is not aware of the impact his presence has.

From experience I know that many white Americans do not understand the impact they may have on people of color. They don’t understand that they speak, and act, from a position of strength, and power.

To put it bluntly: On the very day when the people at the ceremony were to be made equals in American society, it looked to me as if it was reinforced to them that they are not equals. They were quizzed, bullied, and yelled at by a stressed-out tall, big, white guy, wearing dark glasses.

I don’t think that is right.

dahlias, and one weirdo aussie flower

2010-09-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

santa cruz county fair

2010-09-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

the american

2010-09-23T20:47:00.000-07:00

One oath of allegiance later.

chinese food with a fish made out of a carrot

2010-09-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

walking towards the light

2010-09-17T22:30:00.001-07:00

mendocino details

2010-09-17T22:24:00.001-07:00

mendocino, calif.

2010-09-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

roadtrip

2010-09-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

Dan and I took a trip to Eureka, Arcata, Crescent City, Mendocino, and Fort Bragg last week. Bunch of photos are here: click.

pacific coast

2010-09-14T20:59:00.001-07:00

pacific fog

2010-09-14T20:58:00.000-07:00

stand up 2 cancer

2010-09-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

I caught a glimpse of the Stand Up 2 Cancer telethon on Friday night. We were going out to dinner so I only watched for a few minutes, but had I had more time I probably would have watched more. As a cancer survivor I obviously feel a strong connection to others struck by the disease, and I value the support.

At the same time, there was something about the entire thing that I did not like. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the next day I found this column in the Washington Post, where writer Hank Steuver comes out kind of harshly against the telethon. He ends his piece like this:

[Cancer in America] is sacrosanct. Getting it, fighting it, coming back from the brink of it and even dying from it -- these are the sacraments of cancer, America's secular religion.

There are lots of comments to the column, and many of those are negative. How dare anyone criticize a good cause?

I liked the piece. It pointed out the use of celebrities to act as stylish preachers, and that hit the mood well, I thought.

But there was something else, too, that annoyed me. I realized I was annoyed the same way I was after having seen Slumdog Millionaire, the immensely popular movie about a boy from a Mumbai slum who wins big on a TV game-show. I think the movie turned an awful reality into a feel-good moment for privileged westerners, and at the same time allowed us, the privileged westerners, to continue doing nothing for kids who grow up with nothing.

The cancer telethon turned an awful reality into something palatable. It repackaged the horrors of cancer into something desirable.

I had five months of chemo. The reality? I hated being bald. I hated painting on my eyebrows in the morning. I hated gaining weight. I hated the smell in the chemo center. Now I have chronic joint pain. And those are the things I am comfortable talking about in public. There are many more side effects of chemo and radiation, during and after treatment, that I don't talk about. Why? I don't want to. It's private.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that cancer kills people. When you are diagnosed you are scared shitless. You deal with the information as well as you can, and you make choices that you believe will take you through the months of treatment that lay ahead.

I did well during treatment, I worked, and I didn't complain. I do well now. I can handle what's going on, and I am not scared. But that shouldn't lead anyone to think it's easy. It's not.

The telethons, and the well meaning, and well groomed, celebrities, and the bald women in chic glasses, all make it look easy and attractive.

I had a student once, a white young man, who said that "If I were Mexican my life would be easier, because then I'd know who I was". To any person of color that statement is laughable. It completely negates the experience of under represented groups. Obviously, in America life is easier for a white person.

"Cancer survivors have a purpose", said the Today Show's Ann Curry in an interview with fellow morning star, and cancer survivor, Good Morning America's Robin Roberts.

That's the image we want to see, and constantly recreate: Cancer creates strength and purpose, and beauty in bald heads. We're almost saying, as misguidedly as my student, that life would be easier if we were cancer survivors.

Cancer is not pretty. The fact that everything on television has to be pretty is doing a disservice to survivors, and patients, and to all of us. I'm not a very religious person, but it seems to me a dose of old-fashioned religion would be helpful. Instead of turning to a 'new religion', we should be grateful for what we have, value our time on earth, and try to do good. We all have a purpose. Cancer does not give that to us.

little 24 hour diner in arcata, calif.

2010-09-13T00:31:00.001-07:00

See the cows there, up under the ceiling?

the jetty in crescent city, calif.

2010-09-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

the lighthouse in crescent city, calif.

2010-09-13T00:24:00.001-07:00

eureka, calif.

2010-09-13T00:21:00.001-07:00

dispatches from daddyland

2010-09-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

I've recently come across this blog (I don't remember how), written by an American living in Sweden. His reflections from the other side of Swedish-American migration, compared to my own, is extremely interesting. I recommend his blog to anyone curious on what that 'socialism' really looks like from the inside.

davenport, calif.

2010-09-06T22:10:00.001-07:00

uphill

2010-09-06T22:08:00.001-07:00

movies

2010-09-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

Four good movies I've seen lately:

- Sweet Land tells the story of Norwegian immigrant farmers in Minnesota in the 1920s.
- In the Bedroom, lots of sadness but in a good way with my favorite Tom Wilkinson, and Sissy Spacek.

Those two were on Netflix. These two I've seen in the theater:

- The American, the new movie where George Clooney builds a gun. Don't trust anyone who doesn't like it. It's great.
- Get Low, with Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek (again, but that's a coincidence). Lovely.

truckload of new photos

2010-09-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

I've updated my smugmug galleries. Click here to see new Hipstamatics, and here to see new regular old photos.

will cancer kill you?

2010-09-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Everybody's favorite actor, Michael Douglas, has been diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. He has a tumor the size a walnut at the base of his tongue, that was caused by drinking and smoking. Stage 4 means that the cancer has spread to other organs, and in general that is a very serious diagnosis.

Obviously this is awful news. On Tuesday Douglas went on the Late Show with David Letterman to talk about his upcoming film, and his illness. It seems that he and Letterman are friends, and it was a touching interview.

Today I caught a minute of Entertainment Tonight (or some show like that), and heard a woman ask the rhetorical question, "Will Michael Douglas loose his famous voice?".

Well, he might, obviously. And I am sure he is dealing with that possibility as well as he can, given the fact that his voice is his livelihood.

Famous people with cancer or other challenges are often held up as examples in our culture. They are complemented for their strength, and fawned over.

Or, they are treated with no respect at all. Drives me crazy.

grandpa climbing a tree

2010-09-01T19:39:00.001-07:00

dirt and a red bucket

2010-09-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

I just found this photo of my grandma and me. I've always liked it because I like how grandma is sitting in the dirt in her city outfit playing with me.

I'm around a year old, and my grandma is a little over 60. It's amazing to me what 60 looked like then, and how different it looks today.

(Grandpa took the picture. He had a good eye.)